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It's 2021; we're all about self-care, right?

Then let's put you at the top of your list of to do's.

KSquad, we are givers; we lookout for a lot of people. That's fine and dandy. However, we need to get selfish this year to grab what we want.

This list includes me. I am a repeat offender. However, I overheard a secret conversation about how my goals wouldn't stop someone from accomplishing what they want to do even though my goals could help them. I was hurt; however, I had to realize they were looking out for who? Their star player. (themselves)

Ok. Cool. I was hurt; now what? What could I do to change how I saw myself and deal with this situation? They aren't changing, so I had to.

Let's break this list down a little further.

1.) Set Your Priorities:

Essentially priorities are asking what is most important to you right now? For me, my priorities have shifted from meal planning to eating fresh, creating content for the KSquad, dating, finances, and learning a few new skills for my professional career. Not in this particular order; however, these are the things in my sphere of change I can control.

2.) Uh-uh. You all know this means no. Lol. Stop playing with my emotions. No is a complete sentence. I know it can be hard to say when you are the go-to person.

Here are some other common objection phrases you can say (professional and not so professional); Nah son, no ma'am/sir, can't do it, I'm unavailable to fulfill that request, that's out of my purview, to name a few. Need more examples? Here is a list of 99 ways to say no! You're welcome.

3.) Put Your Goals Ahead of Everything:

Remember the person I told you about earlier? They put their goals ahead of mine because what they wanted was a priority to them. No problem. Lesson learned and noted. It's not to be salty or bitter. It was a bona fide lesson in what I want or need; I have to place it above what everyone else wants, even if it doesn't align with others' goals.

4.) Be Consistent:

There is no way you can obtain your goals by doing it for a week and then stopping. Showing up for yourself takes time, practice, and patience. If ever you should slip up and start to place other needs ahead of yours, acknowledge it and correct it. You can't go back into time; however, you can change the trajectory for the future.

5.) Don't Take It Personal:

Oh, this is one of the biggest lessons I have learned and am still working on. A friend recommended I read The Four Agreements by Don Ruiz. To give you a summary: the book is supposed to be a code of conduct to govern your life by introducing us to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love. (his words, not mine. lol) Well, one of the agreements is not to take things personally. It states: "Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."

Talk about growing up; this was a whole lesson in adulting one on one. I had to check myself because I was internalizing a lot that didn't belong to me. Am I walking in this mindset daily? Not quite, and I don't hold it against myself either. However, it helps a great deal when I can remember this agreement. My countenance is changed, and I can direct my energy appropriately.

There you have it, five ways to put yourself first in 2021. However, take this list beyond this year to make sure you're getting what you want out of life.

5 Ways To Put Yourself First in 2021